I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
