Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
