Well apparently he's into motor boating.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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