Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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