There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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