you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
