uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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