So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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