I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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