i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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