Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
