it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
