I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
