he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
MIDGETS
????
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
