We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
FUCK WHALES
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
