You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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