We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
