Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
