the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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