sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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