would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
