I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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