My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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