also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Houston, we have a blender
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Randomize
