Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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