i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize