My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
