And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
