It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
