Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Your penis caused this!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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