you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
