My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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