He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
