margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
