yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
