Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think people are normalizing furries
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
