A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
