I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.