I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
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I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.