and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.