I want to walk on stilts...naked
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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