if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..