just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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