Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
