All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
