he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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