Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
