I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
