ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
