3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
