dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
