Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
