We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
