all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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