that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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