My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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