'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
