Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
