The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
