margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
