the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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